As salaam alaykum,

This blog has sat stagnant. Stagnant as my mind has sat stagnant. Not knowing what I want to do.  However over the past year I have got to know a little more about myself. Where I have come from, where I am and where inshaAllah I will be going.

I used to think that my thinking was quite deep. But it never is. Somewhere I thought things couldnt get deeper. The more I thought about something the better a conclusion I could come to, and better ascertain the solutions. How wrong I was. Over the past few days Allah has given me little glimpses into things  I wouldnt usually hear of.

Those who have studied and have some knowledge would say they possess no knowledge. This is hard to realise until you try to seek knowledge and then not know where to start from. Things are always hard to realise when people say something yet you have never experienced it. And henceforth a full appreciation cannot be granted over that thing til experience does take place.

InshaAllah I would like to abrogate the above line. The one thing I have got to know over the past year is this. Where I have come from still has yet to yield it’s mysteries. Where I am going has still yet to show me my true destination, and where I will go I can only hope is towards Allah.

May Allah make us amongst those who are happy with his decree and of the few that are thankful,ameen.

A video that makes you think.

As salaam alaykum,

well Ive done it again. I got excited over a possible proposal which in its very early stages has been suspended.Probably ended.

Ive forgotten how many times this has happened. It is the will ofAllah and surely there is wisdom behind it. I need to learn something else before Allah blesses me with a husband. But what it is Im not sure.

Ive contemplated what is it I need to know? What is it that Allah wants me to learn? But still nothing.

There is a lot of self reflection.

One of the many things Ive thought is that I have thought that so many of my problems would be lifted through nikkah.   I would be able to live comfortably with the support of another muslim. Someone who I can share my problems with, my thoughts and feelings, feel safe. But then again shouldnt I feel like that with Allah. I should call out to Allah about my problems. Seek refuge in Allah from the evil of this world. Put my entire trust in Allah.

There is wisdom behind everything Allah does.If Allah doesnt grant me the dua of a spouse Allah saves me from something else that would of harmed me. I have to have sabr and trust in Allah.

I pray that Shaytan will not bother me over this topic as he always does.

May Allah curse Shaytan.Ameen

The silence and the darkness come hand in hand,

For many lengths of the passing sand.

Enshrouding all and everything, dead or alive,

Those peacefully sleeping and those striving to survive.

In the last part of that long and lonely time,

The Lord listens out for prayers from those that moan and whine.

My Lord, forgive me my sins, and keep me on the path steadfast,

Let me not return to that confusing, lonely,lost past.

Let me die in belief,a state of imaan.

Give me opportunities to repent, do what I can.

Do not let me in Jannaham, time and time again burn.

You surely are the creator and to You we will return.

Ameen

The impounding loud beat,

From many hooves and feet.

Adrenaline in circulation,

From the holy migration.

My love to meet my Lord,

Draws me closer even more.

To fulfill one of the most holiest rights,

The sheer thought gives restless nights.

The act that brings me to the holiest place,

And will testify for me when you I come to face.

When, my Lord, will you bestow upon me that act.

To revive my imaan and keep it intact