A level of devotion

Salaam alaikum,
I realised the other day how neglected this blog remains despite some encouraging comments. InshaAllah I will get into the habit of writing in it. One practice I used to do every so often whilst I found myself in a reflective mood was to write an email to a friend or two about my thoughts. And inshaAllah instead of spamming their email inboxes with random thoughts Ill put them onto here.

I recently found out out that an old school friend, a strong christian, could be becoming a nun. I could only think subhanAllah. Naturally I connected it to my previous experience of looking into Christianity. When I had looked at that particular religion I identified that I wasnt one of those people that would of gone to church every sunday. I wanted to be able to have my worship in every moment of my life. Governing everything I do. (Later this would be the incredible attraction to Islam). As stupid as it sounds, I think had I not had so many problems with the trinity and the crucifixion in the modern day bible, I could of well been sitting here in a habit, somewhat isolated from the ouside world praying to God.

He he and I reflect on what Im doing at the moment. Trying to identify with Allah in everything I do. Trying to purify my intentions so again it is purely for the sake of Allah. Going out into the world dressed in my gear. But subhanAllah at the end of the day the most important thing I have is my tawheed (let no one forget how successful dawah is if one goes back to the core belief in Islam).

What truly is a shame, is the fact that modern society doesnt recognise that a woman in Islam doesnt go to the extent like in Christianity and become a nun. That you’re either a nun or not a nun. In Islam all women are practicing on various levels of iman/taqwa and so that definition (to be or not to be) isnt there. When a woman walks out in the everyday street to go about in her everyday business people do not see her hijab as her habit and her niqaab as her semi-isolation from worldy affairs (niqaab to me is soley that. To distance myself from the duniya. Probably requires another post.. watch this space). What non-muslims see and many muslims who oppose hijab see is oppression. If only they could see it from this prospective.

MashAllah when I see a nun I cannot help but smile underneath my niqaab and hold so much respect for them. Unlike their non-nun counterparts I feel they are more true to their kitab. By becoming nuns they become chaste and highly respected women in society. Known to be kind and caring, serene and calm in their affairs. Close to their version of God. How truly different it is painted for muslim women. SubhanAllah.

Maybe the picture is painted differently because muslim women still live in the world and not isolate themselves totally. Muslim women bear children, one of the many gifts bestowed on them from Allah, and comfort their menfolk. Whereas nuns cannot enjoy such respectful and highly rewarding positions. If all christian women were to become nuns things would be very different.

Birth rates would indefinitely decrease and the number of christians would also do so. Society as a whole would probably come to a standstill. Again the beauty of Islam comes in here. Women have children within the stable environment of marriage and so nurture the next generation of muslims inshaAllah. But with nuns this wouldnt be so.
And with birth rates comes my thoughts about Modern day Europe. The birth rates are decreasing to well below that to even replace the present population. The elderly population to soon overtake that of the young. But why? Could it be because of the fact that these women are chasing the duniya too much. Thinking that they can have it all. All the designer goods. The very successful career etc. Unlike nuns devoting themselves to God, these women devote themselves to seeking the richness and perceived happiness of materialism.

I can remember a couple of months back when I attended the “From Protest to Engagement” conference with my friend Usma. One of the speakers talked about extremes within society. For example obesity and anorexia. Here is another extreme. A nun who goes beyond living in the world and another woman who goes beyond to live in the world. Truly Islam is a middle path. Muslim women can devote themselves to Allah but also need to realise that they cannot detach themselves too much from the worldy life.

A balance must be maintained. Through my slight feeling of envy for my friend in her opportunity of isolating herself, I must identify my struggle to maintain that balance. Unfortunately something I dont feel I have at the moment. May Allah make it easy upon us to maintain that balance, pleasing Allah in doing so, by submitting to Allah totally and living in the world as Allah has guided us to do so. Ameen

Restlessness

As salaam alaykum,

my sleep has been restless the past few nights (stress no doubt). I awoke around about 3 in the morn to hear a bird calling out into the night. Only Allah knows what kind of bird it was. I looked at the time and realised there were still 3 hours til fajr.So thinking about the physics exam I had later I went back to sleep.

Before I became muslim I sought advice with someone. Actually in the time that started me thinking about life in general. One person said a phrase to me I wont forget.

“Its always darkest before dawn”

I used this to help myself through a very rough period. Things got worse and I thought that indeed like this saying, things will get harder before they get easier. The same as it gets darker before it becomes light again. In my contemplation the phrase has come up again.

I thought about that bird that called out into the night. It was calling out for the night to become day. It yearned for the day.When it would be able to see and fly. Then I contemplated my own pains and sorrows. My heart calls out for contentment. It screams with such passion, to be let out from its oppressive environment, so it may grow.

That bird was calling out, perhaps in dua to Allah, repeating it over and over again. In faith that Allah was listening and would answer it. Let light fill the sky.Let light fill my heart.

Allah tests me in my hardship and my patience. InshaAllah I will persist with my duas. Like that bird in faith. Calling out when I feel blind,numb, when all I hear is my own screams and everything is becoming darker.When my hardships seem to hurt more. And with patience Allah will answer that prayer.

Verily after hardship comes ease.